So Easter is just around the corner – Sunday April 1st to be exact - 9 days away. And while no one really gives a shit about what this holiday signifies the one thing we all like about Easter is public holidays and chocolate eggs.
But there are many pitfalls to Easter and I want to help you navigate your way through the minefields that cause catastrophic fail at this time of year.
Easter Cake Pops are supposed to be cute AF like this:
But they're so hard to make they end up looking like Bert from Sesame Street that time he took acid and gurned all night at a warehouse rave back in 92’. Don’t bother trying to make these.
For that matter any kind of Easter themed baking is fraught with danger. Something you want to look kitschy or cute ends up becoming the stuff of Donnie Darko-esque nightmares. Like the Seasonal Easter Bread arrangement:
Or the Easter Bunny Cake that looked like it crawled out of the depths of hell to eat your cat's food.... and possibly your cat:
Or the Easter Bunny Shaped Bread, that mocks you and will try to kill you in your sleep:
Fuck baking altogether. You should just stick to the $2.50 Hot Cross Buns down at Aldi.
And don't get lulled in to thinking these oh so cute Devilled Easter Egg Chicks are easy to make!
They're meant to look cute, but fuck me dead if they don’t end up looking like the aftermath of a Kurdish gas attack. Avoid wasting your time trying to make these. Just stick to our Spicy Devilled Eggs recipe using Shit the Bed:
Be wary of other seemingly wholesome activities for the kids.
Some organisations run hunts that look for different kinds of eggs in all sorts of weird places.
The only real way to ensure you don't fuck up this Easter is to just give the gift of Bunsters Shit the Bed chocolate. Got a family do to go to? Give the gift of laugher and quality chocolate. Folks in the USA you can order a twin pack or two from Amazon by clicking here:
(Aussies if you aren't near one of our friendly choccie stockists then our winter chocolate shipping season starts in June.... if this bloody summer will ever end.)
So that's my top tips for Easter, don't bake, don't make fancy egg dishes, don't go to random egg hunts or dress up like a wanker.
P.S. Some other stuff that I found funny this week from my Facebook and Instagram pages:
Give us a cheeky follow there if you want more interesting stuff like that.
And do the same on Instagram if you like the look of this classy hot sauce I found: